“When everyone is faking trust, it wears on the capacity, productivity, effectiveness, enjoyment of the entire organization.”

“Fake it till you make it.” That’s advice we often hear for how to step up our game at work. But as it turns out, when it comes to building trust, that advice just doesn’t work very well. Why do we often feel so compelled to pretend there’s trust when there isn’t. We do it in order to be polite, because we don’t want to ruffle any feathers with our colleagues (and certainly not our bosses!). Instead, we slowly create a poisonous environment where real issues can’t be addressed and resentments build. But there is another way—a way to be direct when it comes to conversations for trust, without burning bridges. In this episode, Kari and Paul we explain how.

In This Episode:

1:03 – What skiing can teach us about trust.

3:18 – Flores and Solomon on “Cordial Hypocrisy.”

8:14 – “The Emperor’s New Clothes”—a major issue for modern day leaders.

9:34 – Politeness in public, “telling it how it is” behind people’s backs.

10:59 – How to not be a jerk while being direct.

13:26 – What if being direct will cost me my job?

17:27 – Getting oriented to the ultimate outcome.

19:23 – What to take forward from this episode.

Quotes:

“When everyone is faking trust, it wears on the capacity, productivity, effectiveness, enjoyment of the entire organization.” 

“You can have high compassion with high directness. It’s not like compassion is one end of the spectrum, and directness is on the other. They are two different spectrums. Low-direct and high-direct. Low-compassion and high-compassion. So I can be compassionate and direct. It is possible.” 

“When you are direct, your relationship may indeed change. But wouldn’t you rather people relate to you as authentic and courageous than someone who gossips, is cynical, and weak?” 

“If I can ground myself in the outcome that is at stake—as opposed to ‘I don’t want to look bad’— I will naturally take more courageous actions.”

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Links:

Kari’s Website

Paul’s Website

Contact The Granger Network

Paul’s Other Podcast: Your Business Your Wealth 

LEADERSHIP IMPACT PODCAST

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Acknowledgements:
Our work is mosaic art. We read, study, and practice many philosophies, methodologies, and modalities of human performance, to ensure that our approach best serves our clients. We would like to acknowledge all of the thought leaders and organizations, whose ground-breaking work has influenced the TGN Consulting approach – especially Fernando Flores, Jim Selman, Michael C. Jensen, Julio Olalla, Pluralistic Networks, The Newfield Network, and the Strozzi Institute.

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